Not Him
by Wendy McCalister
Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru
1. Chapter 1

**DIsclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.**

 **Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru.**

 **Not Him**

 **Chapter 1**

"I like you!"

"Eh?"

Sky blue strands fluttered with the wind as it blew, amethyst eyes wide eyed, surprised, staring back at equally wide but hopeful pink ones. Botan gulped softly, a pink blush coloring her cheeks.

"W-will you date me?" Shishi mustered up the courage to say after a few moments of silence. His cheeks reddened bright crimson, his eyes never leaving Botan's form even as she looked away.

The ferry girl fidgeted under his unwavering gaze. "I-I don't know..." she answered slowly, trying to choose her words carefully.

It wasn't as if Shishiwakamaru was not a handsome demon. He was, in fact, very good looking. But...

"I-I don't think I can date someone I'm, um, not in love with..." she continued, fiddling with her thumbs. She stared at her feet, afraid to look at Shishi's face.

Another silence hung in the air, but it lasted for so long until Botan started to feel uncomfortable. She was about to say sorry, and excuse herself to leave, but then she couldn't do that. That would hurt him. And it would be rude.

"I understand," Shishi spoke, and the ferry girl inwardly heaved a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice. Good. At least he was talking to her.

Botan turned to peer at him, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards into an apologetic smile. "I'm really sorry, Shishi. I wish I can return thr feelings but..."

"I understand," he said again, cutting her short. Botan blinked at him when he softly smiled at her. "But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on you." He slid his hands into the warm comfort of his pockets, before leaning closer to her, face merely inches from the ferry girl's, causing her to blush and almost stagger back.

"W-what do you mean?" Botan asked, gulping audibly when a chuckle escaped his lips. "What's so funny?"

Shishi stared at her, studying her for a few moments before pulling away. He shook his head, a wolfish grin teasing his lips. "Nothing. I just think you're cute."

Botan, being one who wasn't used to getting those sort of compliments from guys, was suddenly embarrassed. The blush on her face deepened slightly.

"O-oh."

"Look, here's what we're going to do," Shishi stated all of a sudden, voice casual but she could still detect the slight teasing edge in the tone he used. "Why don't you and I go on a date just for a day? And we'll see how it goes. If you still don't like me then, then I'll leave you alone. But if you do... then you're mine." He smirked, before arching one blue eyebrow at her. "Well?"

Botan paused, seeming to consider. Well, that sounded fair. It probably wouldn't be all that bad anyway.

Her features brightened up as a wide smile spread on her face. "Sure!" she beamed. "That would be fun!"

Shishi couldn't help but smile, feeling joy over take his senses. "Good." He sighed in relief, glad to hear that she agreed to his terms. His smile broadened ever so slightly.

"So, when are you free?" he inquired, watching her as she tilted her head, looking thoughful.

"Well..."

* * *

"Say what?"

Shizuru's loud exclaimation of surprise echoed in the whole temple. The young woman rotated her head to the right to her friend, Botan, who was munching some potato chips.

"You're going on a date?" she went on, voice lower in volume this time, as she leaned closer to the ferry girl. There was a look of excitement on her features.

The gang was at Genkai's again as it was their usual hangout place. The girls were in an empty room, with some junk food and cans of sodas surrounding them, having what they called as "girls' talk". The boys were somewhere around the temple, Kurama was tending to Genkai's plants, Yusuke and Kuwabara were fist-fighting in the woods (but only because the latter wanted to), and who knows where Hiei was.

Botan shrugged her right shoulder lightly. "Uh-huh," she replied, voice slightly muffled as her mouth was full.

"Oh. My. God!" Keiko gushed, giggling like a simpering school girl. She clapped her hands excitedly, feeling happy for her friend. "That's wonderful news!"

"Who is it?" Yukina inquired curiously, although she wasn't as giddy as the other two girls were. "Is it someone we know?"

Botan's mouth stretched into a toothy grin. "It's Shishiwakamaru."

Shizuru almost choked on the soda can she was drinking. "That guy from the Dark Tournament?" she questioned, a wide grin slowly appearing on her face. She received a nod in return, causing the quirk of her lips to widen a little.

Teasingly, she nudged the ferry girl by the elbow. "Wow, Botan! That's a really hot guy there!"

"Oh, he's so dreamy!" Keiko gushed, jumping up and down like a little girl. She earned a few questioning gazes in return, causing the smile that had never left her face to falter. "What? I just think he's handsome."

Botan smirked. "Yusuke wouldn't be happy to hear that," she teased, bursting into a fit of laughter, Yukina and Shizuru joining her.

The brunette blushed beet red in embarrassment. "So what? He checks out every girl he could lay his eyes on, so he has no right to be upset even if I do think someone's hotter than him!" she said defensively, sticking her tongue out. "And you guys can't just tell me that you don't think Shishi **is** hot."

Her blue haired friend let out a small giggle, amused at her reaction. "Well, I do agree that he's very pleasant to the eyes," she answered after a while, reaching inside the bag of potato chips to grab some.

Keiko laughed. "See? I knew it!" she said victoriously, pointing a finger accusingly at Botan. The others couldn't help but burst into another howl of laughter.

"You knew what?" Yusuke's voice suddenly sounded as the door slid open. He entered, a slightly beaten up Kuwabara following behind him. The carrot-top glared at his friend's back before grumbling something grudgingly under his breath. He then turned to fix his gaze on the girls.

"Hey, girls. What are you guys talking about?" he asked in wonder, bending his knees and sitting beside Yukina. He winced as he felt a numbing pain around his shoulder, reaching up a hand to massage it in an attempt to ease the pain a little.

"I told you, I would kick your ass anyway," Yusuke pointed out as he sat next to Keiko. A smug smirk curved at the edge of his lips. "Just give it up, Kuwabara. You know you can't beat me."

Kuwabara shot a death glare his way. "Shut up, Urameshi!" he roared angrily.

"Nah, I don't want to shut up," Yusuke taunted, his smirk broadening ever so slightly.

"Why I oughta..." Kuwabara was about to stand up and advance towards the black haired boy when Keiko's voice suddenly chimed in.

"Oh, stop it, you guys," she said, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "Seriously, you two never change..." she mumbled softly before shaking her head in disapproval.

"Anyway, we were talking about Shishi," Shizuru butted in, sliding her hand into her breast pocket, retrieving her precious pack of cigarettes. "She's going on a date with him the day after tomorrow," she continued, before lighting up one of the cigarettes, and putting it between her teeth.

Yusuke's eyes grew so wide it almost seemed as if they were going to bulge out of their sockets.

"Who, Keiko?"

"No, you idiot!" his girlfriend yelled indignantly, and landed a hard smack at the back of his head, earning an 'Ow!' from Yusuke in return. "She meant Botan!"

"Well, how the hell should I know?" Yusuke roared back, sending a heated glare at her. The look didn't go unnoticed Keiko, but it wasn't acknowledge either.

He darted his eyes to Botan. "Since when did you start seeing that guy anyway?" he asked, rubbing the small lump at the back of his head.

"He just asked me out today," Botan replied, before pausing for a moment. "But we're not exactly together. He just... well, we're going to try having one date together, and he said that if I end up liking him, then that means I'm his girlfriend."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow at her. "And if you don't?"

The ferry girl shrugged her shouders. "Well then, I guess we just have to be friends."

"Then again, that guy's practically a chick magnet. You'll probably fall for him anyway," Kuwabara added all of a sudden, grabbing the bag of potato chips on Botan's lap.

Botan's brows furrowed. "Him being attractive doesn't mean I'll like him."

"Yeah, bro, just because he's hot, he can't always get any girl that he wants," Shizuru agreed wholeheartedly, pointing her index finger accusingly at her little brother.

"Yeah!" This time it was Keiko who spoke up. "Kurama's good looking and you don't see Botan drooling over him, now do you?"

"Okay, okay!" Kuwabara relented, raising his arms up defensively. "You girls win!"

At the mention of the redhead, Botan couldn't help but wonder where he was. She and Kurama had grown closer over the years, and although the ferry girl occasionally felt there was something between them, their relationship had never crossed the boundary of friendship. Another weird thing was that she'd been thinking about him a lot recently, but she figured that was because she hadn't been hanging out with him lately, as he was busy with college and she, with ferry duties.

"Anyway, is Kurama still tending to the plants?" she managed to ask after some time.

Yusuke shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. Maybe."

"Why?" Kuwabara questioned instead of answering.

Botan blinked a few times, before shaking her head a little. "No, it's nothing. It's just that I haven't been seeing him. I was hoping I could see him today. I didn't get to when I came here, because Yukina said he was busy tending to the plants."

"Well, knowing Kurama, he'll be staying here with us so you're gonna see him anyway," Keiko told her reassuringly, when she noticed the disappointment in Botan's voice.

The ferry girl nodded her head. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

* * *

"What are you doing here?"

Kurama looked up to see Hiei staring at him. He stared back with an unreadable expression, unsure how to greet the fire demon, considering the whirlwind of emotions taking residence in his heart.

"Let me guess, eavesdropping?" Hiei mocked, walking up to the redhead.

Kurama's eyes narrowed at him in a menacing way. "I'm not in the mood for your silly games, Hiei. You know what I was doing even if I didn't tell you," he stated calmly, but his voice had a dangerous edge. He turned to look behind him at his friends, wondering if they heard him, but they were too busy chattering to notice.

"Whatever, Kurama," Hiei scoffed. His crimson orbs gave Kurama a slightly judging look. "I'm not the one hiding behind the door and eavesdropping on people's conversations." He waited for the fox demon to counter.

But Kurama was unresponsive, Hiei heaved a deep sigh. "Are you okay with it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the redhead.

"With what?" Kurama questioned back, despite already knowing what he meant.

Hiei almost snorted. "Look, Kurama. There's no use playing ignorant. I know that Shishi and Botan are going out on a date, and I know that you..." He jabbed a finger at Kurama's chest, "... are jealous."

Kurama parted his lips to make up an excuse, but the fire demon cut him off before he could even utter out a word, "Don't try to hide it from me. I have the jagan eye, idiot. There's nothing I don't know."

Kurama's mouth closed, forming a thin line. It was obvious he was upset. He then felled silent again.

Hiei, getting tired of the quiet game and Kurama's constant denial of the feelings he harbored for Botan, groaned in exasperation.

"Seriously, I don't understand why you're so hung up on her anyway. She's just a stupid ferry girl-"

Hiei didn't get to finish his sentence, as he instantly found himself lying face first on the ground. Although taken aback, Hiei couldn't help the smirk that managed to find its way to his now bleeding mouth. Whipping around, the fire demon peered at his friend, before spitting out some blood.

"I don't appreciate you calling her stupid," Kurama growled, low and dangerous, emerald eyes glinting gold for a moment before reverting to their original color.

Hiei's smirk widened, and he stood up, dusting off the dirt from his clothes. "Well, you wouldn't admit that you like her so I just tested you a little."

Kurama shook his head, but a small smile appeared on his lips. Sliding his hands into his pockets, the redhead pushed himself from the door. He turned around and was about to stalk off when a hand grabbed at his arm, causing him to halt in his tracks.

He turned around to see Hiei sporting an unreadable look. Hiei stared at him, studying him, in dead silence for what seemed like ages, until...

"Kurama. If you really love her, then just tell her," the shorter male said, before finally letting go of Kurama's arm.

* * *

 **Well, that's done. Lol, sorry... I know I still have a lot of stories to finish, but I couldn't help it when this idea suddenly came to me. Still, I hope you enjoyed it! Review when you have the time, I appreciate it :smiles:**

 **P/S: I'll be having exams starting tomorrow, so my updates will probably be slower than usual. Goodbye, thank you for reading! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho**

 **Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru.**

 **Not Him**

 **Chapter 2**

Botan stretched her arms, a happy smile teasing her lips. She expelled a contented sigh; she felt peaceful in mornings like this. Especially when it seemed like a wonderful day with the sound of birds chirping echoing in the air, the quiet and serene surroundings, and the nice-scented smell of roses...

The ferry girl blinked. Wait, roses? She rotated her head to the right, and was surprised to see Kurama standing there, staring at her with a small smile on his face. The bone-chilling wind blew, the fox demon's red hair fluttering with the breeze. And at that moment, Botan caught another whiff of the smell of roses.

"Hey," he greeted, the smile on his features broadening slightly. Sliding his hands into the warmth of his pockets, Kurama strolled towards her.

Botan's expression considerably brightened up.

"Hey!" she beamed, as he stopped when he was close enough to her. "Where were you? I didn't see you last night so I was worried you went home without even seeing me." She giggled a little, before landing a playful punch at his shoulder.

A chuckle erupted from Kurama's throat. He felt a jolt of electricity as Botan's small fist came into contact with his _clothed_ bicep, but he brushed the feeling off.

"Sorry. I was... er, training," he answered casually, despite the awkward smile he wore on his face.

He half lied; indeed, he was training but it wasn't really for the sake of training, more like because he wanted to vent all his frustration after finding out about Shishi and Botan.

The fox demon inwardly grimaced at the thought.

"Oh." Botan's mouth formed an 'o' in understanding. Then, it curled upwards into a wide, ear to ear grin. "So how have you been? I haven't heard from you for a long time."

"I've been busy," came Kurama's response. He walked with her as she sauntered along the hallway.

"Yeah, I get that," she joked, a laugh building in her chest and erupting from her throat. "Koenma's been keeping me kind of busy as well."

"As usual," the redhead added, laughing with her as her laughter grew louder. He momentarily noted how pleasant the sound was as it reached his ears. He rather liked hearing her laugh.

"Yeah, well, you know how Koenma is," Botan said with a cheshire like grin attached on her features. But the grin felled as quickly as it came, as a thought occurred to her.

"Oh, Kurama, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you!" she suddenly exclaimed in surprise, Kurama blinking at her as she cupped a hand to her mouth. "Tomorrow I have a..."

"... date. With Shishi," he finished for her, feeling his heart sink to the deepest pit of his stomach as the words left him. He knew what she wanted to say the moment she said 'tomorrow'.

Taken aback, Botan's mouth hung open for a moment, before finally closing.

"Right..." she mumbled, brows furrowing in confusion. "How did you know?" she asked curiously; she didn't recall telling him about the news.

Kurama forced a smile. "Hiei," he replied simply, before bending down to take a cat into his hands.

The white-furred feline had been wandering in the temple, he'd noticed, and it had been quite a great companion to him lately. Especially when he'd started feeling lonely with the momentary absence of Botan in his life.

The smile at the edge of his lips widened. Although, that was probably because the little kitten reminded him of the ferry girl, he thought as he watched it purr and curl in his arms.

"He seems to like you a lot," Botan's voice commented humorously, gaining his attention. He looked up to see her gazing down at the cat with a big smile.

"What's his name?" she inquired softly, tapping the kitten's nose. A girlish giggle escaped her as it watched her finger move away, and extended its paws out, as if trying to catch her finger.

"It's a she actually," Kurama answered, brushing the soft, silky white fur gently. "I named her... Neko."

Botan suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. "Well, that sounds really simple. Especially when it's a direct translation of the word cat," she teasingly said, poking lightly at Kurama's elbow.

 _Does she not know what affect she has on me?_ The fox demon pondered for a moment, as the ferry girl, once again, casually touched him. "That's not really the reason why I called her that... I... She kind of reminds me of you."

She looked surprised. "Me?"

He nodded his head.

"How?"

Kurama's lips parted slightly to respond, but no words managed to be uttered out as a voice abruptly interrupted their conversation.

"Hey, come on, Botan!" The duo turned to see Keiko waving her hand at them. "Don't forget that we're going shopping!"

The ferry girl stared blankly at her brunette friend for some time, before the revelation finally hit her. "Oh, my god. I forgot!" she whispered urgently to herself, before fixating her eyes on Kurama. "I'm really sorry, Kurama, but I gotta go. We'll catch up later, okay? There're so many things I want to tell you."

"Shopping for new clothes?" Kurama guessed, though he assumed that was the case.

"Uh-huh," Botan chirped, whilst putting on her sandals, "For the date," she went on, fixing her skirt and dusting some debris off. "Keiko thinks I need to look fancy for Shishi." She laughed openly, not realizing that her words caused a pang of hurt to stab at Kurama's chest.

Like a knife through the heart.

"Good luck," he forced out, voice slightly hoarse. The girl nodded her head before skipping off, Keiko reprimanding her for making her wait.

He watched her go, wondering why he didn't tell her he loved her before she left.

* * *

"You look like a whipped dog," Hiei's voice scoffed from behind him, but Kurama didn't bother to acknowledge him, proceeding to play with Neko.

"Or a puppy at someone's doorstep after a heavy rain, looking a little pathetic," the fire demon went on when his friend was unresponsive. But his efforts were fruitless as the fox demon remained silent.

"I told you, you should've told her sooner," Hiei finally said, as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

That was when Kurama finally looked up, regarding him with a blank look. Still, Hiei could almost see the sorrow and jealousy reflected in his emerald eyes.

"I didn't think someone else would get to her first," he spoke, voice so low and inaudible that it unnerved the fire demon.

"Hn." Hiei rolled his eyes, but he sat down next to the redhead. "Yeah, well, you got that wrong." He paused for a moment, seeming to consider something before continuing, "Are you really going to let it be?"

Kurama turned to peer at him, slightly taken off guard by the serious expression on his friend's face that greeted his sight.

"Are you going to let her go?"

The fox demon heaved a deep sigh, eyes turning downwards to the small kitten curled comfortably in his lap. He smiled bitterly, watching Neko lick its fur.

"Of course I won't. It's just that I don't know what to do," he answered truthfully, hands gently tickling Neko's sensitive sides. The feline purred softly, squirming at the touch.

Hiei momentarily gave his companion an exasperated stare.

"That's easy," he snorted. "Just win her over."

"It's not that simple, Hiei."

"Yes, it is. Just sweep her off her feet, steal her from that guy Shishi or whatever... Do anything. Ask her out, confess your feelings or... Will you please stop playing with that blasted thing?" Hiei growled out his last sentence, making to snatch the annoying kitten from Kurama's lap and throw it off somewhere.

The fox demon managed to grab it and place it out of his grasp before he could.

"Stealing jewels and artifacts are merely simple tasks for me, Hiei. But stealing someone's heart is another thing," Kurama told him, voice firm yet gentle at the same time.

"Yeah? So you're just going to let her leap into another guy's arms?" Hiei exclaimed in disbelieve. He didn't think his friend would give up that easily.

The redhead made a face. "No, certainly not," he deadpanned, letting a light scoff escaped his lips. What did Hiei take him for? "I just need a plan."

Crimson orbs stayed fixed on Kurama's form for a while, before finally averting to the right.

"Hn."

A few moments of silence hung in the air, only the sound of the birds chirping and Neko purring could be heard. Until Hiei broke it off.

"Do you want me to... uh, watch her for you? On her date?" he suddenly and surprisingly offered, causing Kurama to whip his head around and give him a weird look.

"What?" the redhead uttered, wondering if he had heard that right.

Hiei shrugged his shoulders. "You heard me."

Kurama's brows furrowed. "No, Hiei. That would be invading her privacy. There's really no need for such a thing... Plus, that's called stalking."

A light pink color began to tint the fire demon's cheeks.

"No, it's not!" he sputtered for the first time ever, standing up abruptly and sending his comrade an offended look. "It's just in case any funny business happens or if you happen to want to know what goes on between the two of them."

Kurama paused for a moment, seeming as if he was actually considering the suggestion, especially after hearing Hiei's last statement. He was right. But...

Hiei stared at his friend, pondering why on earth he felled silent. He blinked at the thoughtful yet slightly confused expression marring the redhead's features.

Then, after a while, he finally said;

"I'll think about it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho**

 **Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru.**

 **Not Him**

 **Chapter 3**

"Hey, I'm sorry I'm late!"

Shishi turned his head to see Botan running up to him, biting his lower lip to stifle a laugh as she stumbled and staggered on what he assumed was her new pair of high heels. It was pretty obvious she was uncomfortable, so why did she wear them anyway?

"Are you wearing those because of me?" he asked as she was close enough to him. The ferry girl bent down a little to put her hands on her knees, panting heavily, before looking up at him.

"What?"

She received a grin in return.

"Those," Shishi told her, pointing at her feet. She averted her eyes down, and it took her a moment but she realized he was talking about her high heels.

Blood immediately rushed to her cheeks. "N-no," she stuttered, fixing her skirt a little. "W-well, yes. I mean, I didn't really wanna dress too pretty, but Keiko... um, she wanted me to look a little fancy for you. She said I should because we're going on a date," she started to ramble.

A chuckle built up in Shishi's chest, before erupting from his throat. The sound instantly managed to cut short her ramblings. Botan's blush deepened at the assumption that she probably embarrassed herself.

"S-sorry," she muttered, before scrutinizing herself, "Do I look okay? I've never dressed like this before," she inquired and said at the same time, lifting her head to send him a questioning gaze.

Shishi stared at her for a moment. The ferry girl wore a chocolate brown dress that reached her knee with a modest neckline and a darker brown blazer, along with a black pair of high heels that seemed really uncomfortable. Yes, she looked cute, but he wouldn't have minded even if she dressed like her usual self.

"To be honest, I think you look beautiful in anything," he answered her, smiling as another blush crept its way up to her face. "I think you need to take those high heels off though. They look really... off on you."

"Oh, thank god!" Botan suddenly exclaimed in relief, before reaching inside her bag. "I thought you would never say that. I was dying to take them off!" she went on, a soft giggle escaping her as she retrieved a pair of white sandals from her purse. Shishi arched an eyebrow questioningly at this, earning a grin in return. "I brought them along just in case."

With that said, she took off her high heels, putting on her sandals in their place. A contented sigh left her lips. "God, finally! My feet feels great," she said, blinking when Shishi laughed at her words.

"You're so weird, Botan-chan," he remarked, causing her to crease her eyebrows. Seeing the almost offended look on her features, Shishi quickly reassured her, "In a good way, of course."

Her mouth formed an 'o' in understanding.

"Oh. Right."

"So, where do you wanna go?" Shishi asked as they started to walk, to where, neither of them knew. To him, he was happy as long as they went to anywhere Botan wanted to.

She thought about it for a moment. "Well, movie's obviously not a choice. We don't have any tickets, and besides, I went to the movies with Keiko two days before so... yeah, no," she said, more to herself than to the demon beside her, not noticing the small smile attached to his lips. "Sooo... how about we go to the amusement park?" she suggested, peering at him with a wide grin.

His smile broadened slightly.

"Sure."

* * *

"Ha! I thought so," Hiei's voice said all too knowingly, causing Kurama to whip his head around, a surprised expression crossing his face at the sudden appearance of the fire demon.

"What, you didn't notice me because you were too busy spying on the ferry girl and her stupid date?" Hiei scoffed, shooting daggers at the redhead, whilst wondering what they had gotten themselves into.

The duo were hiding in the bushes, right near where Shishi and Botan were at the amusement park. Hiei had to ponder if they had turned into stalkers, despite being the one who offered to spy on the date in the first place.

"You encouraged me to," Kurama stated calmly instead of answering. Truth be told, he _was_ too busy spying on Botan and Shishi to sense Hiei's presence. He just didn't like the way the blue haired demon was holding hands with her. A pang of jealousy stabbed at his heart, but Kurama did his best to ignore it.

"Well, I only suggested the whole thing. And you told me that you'd think about it. So, I didn't think you would actually do this," Hiei spat at him, while glaring at the backs of the passer bys, grinning as they shivered and turned around, as if expecting a creepy guy to be watching them.

"Says the one with the Jagan eye," Kurama mumbled under his breath, and Hiei looked like he was about to set him on fire.

"Why are we watching them from the bushes anyway?" Hiei asked grudgingly, finally taking his eyes off of Kurama's form. This time his heated stare was focused on the couple in front of them. "We could've watched them from a roof of a building or something. This... just feels kind of pathetic and... odd," he struggled at the last sentence, trying to choose his words carefully.

Kurama paused, seeming as if he was considering something. Should he answer truthfully or not? He was never the type to be forward with what went through his mind, but then agan, this was Hiei he was talking about. The fire demon would probably read his thoughts even before he gave him a response.

Sighing a little, Kurama finally replied, albeit a bit reluctantly, "I was... I wanted to be closer to them."

"Why?"

"I just do. It just doesn't feel... right to watch them from a roof. It's too far away," the fox demon explained with a light pink tint coloring his cheeks. His voice sounded slightly timid and low, much to his discomfort. God, this was embarrassing.

Hiei made an unreadable expression. "Oh."

Kurama, taken aback by the fire demon's lack of sarcastic or rude demeanor, turned to peer at his friend with a weird look. "What? Is that it?" he blurted out before he could even stop himself, finding Hiei's new behavior to be an oddity.

Hiei rolled his eyes. "I'm too used to your pathetic actions whenever the ferry girl is involved that I can't even make fun of you anymore," he said, scoffing.

Kurama made a face. "You just did."

"Hn."

The redhead parted his lips to say more, but he didn't even manage to get a word out of his mouth as he noticed Botan and Shishi were walking away, the former pulling at the latter's hand, dragging him towards the Ferris Wheel.

Kurama grimaced a little at the sight, Hiei smirking beside him. He stood up, making to follow after them. He didn't even look behind him, presuming that his short companion was already following him.

* * *

"Why did you choose the Human World for our date anyway?" Botan questioned curiously, as she and Shishi waited amongst the long line formed in front of the Ferris Wheel. She always wanted to ride one, so she was really excited and looking forward to it.

The blue haired demon darted his pink orbs her way, a small smile curling at the edge of his lips. "Oh. Well, I assumed that it was suitable for your tastes, considering you spend a lot of time with your girl friends here."

Suddenly, his hand reached out, allowing the lightest brush of his fingers against the back of the ferry girl's hand, before taking it in his grasp. He ignored the startled jump he received in return. "Besides, I don't think you would like going on a date in the Demon World," and he quirked an eyebrow at her, "now would you?"

She shook her head in response. "No..." she mumbled, fidgeting slightly.

Why was he holding her hand like that? She tried to pull it out of his grasp, but his hold around her was tight, almost as if he didn't want to let go. Botan couldn't understand why she was feeling so weird (and not in a good way, either) though; Shishi was amazingly handsome, any girl would kill at the chance of touching him, but... she just didn't like it...

Still, she didn't tell Shishi to let her hand go, as she didn't want to hurt him.

"Why did you assume I was hanging out with the girls?" she asked back, casting her eyes downwards in an attempt not to look at Shishi's face. She could almost feel his eyes on her. "I mean, I _do_ hang out with the girls sometimes, but most of the time I spend here in Human World is with... Kurama..." she trailed off as the fox's name crossed her lips. For a moment, she wondered what the redhead was doing. Was he eating? Studying? Visiting his mother?

"What's wrong?" Shishi inquired in concern, a worried look marring his features as he studied the girl.

"Huh?" came her absent minded response, almost as if she just broke out of a trance. A nervous yet reassuring grin traveled to her face. "S-sorry. I was... spacing off," she told him, whilst trying to look away from his scrutinizng stare. Why was it that she suddenly feel as if she missed Kurama?

Botan shook her head, trying to chase the thoughts away from her mind. She was on a date with another guy! It wouldn't do good if she was thinking of someone else.

Taking a few deep, calming breaths, the ferry girl fixated her bright amethyst eyes on Shishi.

"It's really nothing. Please don't worry yourself over little old me," she lied, trying to ignore the nagging feeling at the back of her head, as if it was telling her something.

That was when she was struck by the feeling of someone watching her, eyes on her back, watching her every movement, and she turned her head around, only to blink when she saw no one.

* * *

"Did she notice us?" Hiei inquired, fixing the black sunglasses at the bridge of his nose. He and Kurama were in the crowd, dressed in top hats and masks that covered their facial appearances, in fear that they might get caught red handed. Hiei personally found it stupid, but he didn't really have much of a choice when Kurama started to drag him.

"No," the redhead responded, causing him to sigh in relief.

Kurama watched as the ferry girl whipped, directing her eyes at where they were standing, blinking a few times, before looking away. _She didn't notice him. Good._ He didn't want to know what she would think if she found out they were stalking her. Would she be disgusted? Angry? The fox didn't want to think of the many unpleasant possibilities, and he hated himself for it. He almost wanted to abort the whole plan, when his eyes caught something.

Shishi was holding Botan's hand.

Rather tightly.

And their fingers were intertwined.

"Hey, Kurama. Are you okay?" Hiei's voice reached his ears, snapping him back into reality.

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine."

But was he really? He wasn't even sure.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho**

 **Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru.**

 **Not Him**

 **Chapter 4**

"Oh, my fucking god!" Shishi growled, not noticing Botan beside him who had a sweatdrop at the back of her head. He glared at the backs of the people lining up in front of them. It had been almost two hours since they started to wait in line, yet they were still at the same spot, and Shishi was losing his patience "Can't they just hurry up?" he started to complain, causing Botan to laugh.

"Shishi," she called his name, relieved when she finally gained his attention as he turned to look at her. "It's really not their fault."

The demon scowled for a moment, but a smile soon found its way to his lips as the ferry girl gave him a reassuring one. "Yeah," he agreed, nodding his head, "I guess you're right."

"You know, we don't have to do this," she said all of a sudden, and he quirked one eyebrow questioningly at her.

"What do you mean?"

"This," she pointed out, whilst tilting her head at the Ferris Wheel, "We don't have to ride it if you don't want to."

His brows formed a crease at her words. "But I thought you wanted to..."

A small laugh suddenly erupted from her throat. She punched Shishi playfully at the shoulder with her free hand, as the other one was being held too tightly for her to escape. "It's okay, really!" she told him reassuringly. "I can always go on it any day, anytime. But this is a special occasion, isn't it? And we wouldn't want to be wasting our time waiting in a line, now would we?"

Shishi's frown deepened slightly. "Yes, but..."

"Besides, there are other more fun things we could do."

He paused, before making to disagree, only to stop himself mid way when Botan sent him a warm smile that made his heart stop, beat faster, leap and all three all over again. A blush crept up his cheeks, and he quickly looked away.

"W-well, if you say so!" he said, all high and mighty to hide his nervousness. She laughed at the sight, he looked really cute when he blushed.

"Okay."

* * *

"What's going on? Why are they leaving the line?" Hiei asked, as his eyes watched the couple walked out from the line, going for an ice cream parlor nearby instead.

"I don't know, Hiei," Kurama's voice lacked any emotion as he spoke, "But, we have to follow them."

Hiei shifted his stare at his friend. "Aren't you going to do something?"

The redhead looked down at him with a weird look, to which he just responded by shooting him a death glare. "I mean, other than stalking them," Hiei said, and crossed his arms.

Kurama's face remained unreadable for awhile, and the fire demon couldn't help but wonder if he was actually thinking about a smart solution or if he was too focused on his own emotions to care.

After for what felt like forever, the fox demon finally answered, "Maybe," before dragging Hiei out of the line to continue his pursue and observation on Shishi's and Botan's date.

"They seem to be having a good time," Hiei said without meaning to, only to frown at himself when he saw Kurama flinch at his words, but he gave no response in return.

Hiei was right, Kurama couldn't help but think as he watched Botan laugh at something Shishi said, she was actually having fun. A pang of jealousy stabbed at his heart and a sense of possesiveness overcame his being, and before he knew it, he was already walking his way towards them, ignoring Hiei who was telling him to stop. He couldn't keep still anymore. He needed to tell her how he felt before he'd go insane.

But, as he was about only a few metres away from her, his hand reaching out to her, Kurama halted half way in his movements when a familiar voice reached his ears.

"Botan!"

Shit.

It was Keiko. And Yusuke.

Were they in the middle of a date too?

Kurama swiftly turned, and strolled off the other direction, just as Keiko tapped at Botan's right shoulder. He saw the ferry girl whip her head around, a huge grin brightening her features, and heard a fit of giggles escape her lips. He wanted her. He needed her. He loved her.

And he would not stand this anymore.

"We're leaving," he told Hiei simply, sliding his hands into the warm comforts of his pockets. His breathing was a little labored, and he was finding it harder and harder to keep his feelings in check.

Hiei frowned deeply, studying his friend as he made to stalk off. But, Hiei managed to stop him before he could.

"Are you backing out?" Hiei called, and Kurama's tracks came to a halt. He didn't turn around but Hiei could see him lightly tilt his head at him in regard. "You said you love her," the fire demon went on, "Are you going to just let her go?"

As the words left him, Hiei could see Kurama turn around, with a slightly offended look sported on his features. "I didn't know you were such a loser," he taunted, with a light yet mocking smirk curling at the corners of his lips, "Clearly, living in the human world for far too long has reduced you to a spineless wimp who runs at every problem he finds himself into."

As instantly as he said that, Hiei found his arm tugged harshly up in the air, the smirk on his face widening a little as he felt Kurama's claws tighten his hold around him, automatically digging into his skin. Good. He was irritated. At least, Hiei could finally read through him.

"Don't talk to me like you understand," Kurama growled, low and dangerous, as flecks of gold appeared in his usually bright emerald orbs, the demon half on him seeping through his skin and onto the surface.

Hiei tried to tug his arm out of Kurama's grasp, only to blink as his efforts were fruitless, the vice like hold Kurama had around him so tight that he couldn't break free. Unsure if he was supposed to be amused or surprised, Hiei gave the other demon a smirk. "Ha! I _don't_ understand, you're correct in that," he snorted, and momentarily realized that it was true, for he had never fallen in love before, but he knew one thing; "At least, I don't have a habit of running away," Hiei could finally free himself out of Kurama's hold, supposing that his words finally struck something, "If you really love her, then why don't you just go after her instead of giving up just like that? Stop being such an angsty teenager or whatever, and just do something for once."

Kurama was quiet, and the dead silence that greeted Hiei unnerved him. But then, all of a sudden, he felt a small tap on his head, causing him to look up, startling him when he saw a smile on the redhead's face.

"I guess... you're right," Kurama said, slowly, smile widening as Hiei scoffed, and slapped his hand away. Hiei glared, but the effect clearly wore off as a light smile found its way fo his lips.

"Of course, I'm right."

"Just promise me something, Hiei," Kurama spoke, out of the blue, earning him a hum from the fire demon in response. "Promise me that if I succeed in making Botan mine, that you'll tell Yukina you're her brother."

He laughed as Hiei tripped on a rock and felled face first on the ground, taken off guard by his words. Crimson eyes glared up at him as the short male stood up, and dusted some dirt from his clothes. But, Kurama just smirked.

"I'm not the only one running away."

* * *

It had been hours since they accidentally crossed paths with Yusuke and Keiko, and now Botan and Shishi were sitting on a bench, taking some rest. Today was tiring. But it was lots of fun. The ferry girl couldn't help the grin that curved at the edge of her lips. Despite his words ("I'm not used to the human world, okay!") and in spite of the fact that he'd never been here as much, Shishi was actually doing quite alright. He was really an amusing guy, and very entertaining to be with. And he was charming, too, so that was a plus. But... Her smile faltered slightly... She couldn't seem to like him more than just a friend...

Why though? He had everything a girl could dream of. Good looks and a great personality. What ws so wrong with him? She didn't know for sure, but, for some reason, she just felt like he wasn't the right guy.

Suddenly, she felt a warm hand rest on hers, snapping her back into reality. Botan shifted her eyes to Shishi, surprised to see the heart stopping smile that touched his lips, and the love and care reflected in his eyes. And she couldn't help but blush beet red in embarrassment, and look away from the intensity of his gaze.

"I really had a good time, Botan," he whispered into her ear.

She paused. Wait, her ear?

Botan swiftly whipped her head, nearly falling off the bench as she realized how close his face was to hers, if he hadn't grabbed her by the waist first, preventing the fall.

"S-Shishi..." she stammered, as the handsome male chuckled at her.

"You should really be careful," he half teased and half adviced, as his fit of chuckles faded into thin air.

She looked down to her lap. "I-I know..."

A hand cupped her chin all of a sudden, pulling her head up and forcing her to look at him. Botan gulped audibly as Shishi's lips neared hers. "Shishi..."

"Botan..."

Just as she felt a light brush of his warm mouth against her upper lip, a sudden revelation hit Botan like a ton of bricks. She couldn't do this. She didn't want this. She quickly pushed him away, surprising Shishi who didn't expect some sort of rejection. She seemed to be enjoying herself, he didn't think she would...

He averted his gaze, focusing it on the ground to hide the hurt and disappointment he felt. "Sorry... I didn't mean to..."

"No, it's okay," she swiftly reassured him, as she realized that she'd hurt him. Oh, no. What did she do now? She got... scared and... it felt so wrong... but _why_? "I'm really sorry, Shishi. I-I really am, but I..."

"It's okay," she heard him say, but she knew it wasn't. Everything felt... weird... she felt like she shouldn't be doing this... But why was that? Everything was supposed to be perfect...

Simple. Because,

She didn't love him.

 _A flash of red hair._

 _Bright, soft, emerald eyes._

 _His heart stopping smile._

 _The sound of his sweet voice..._

 _"Botan."_

She shook her head to get rid of the images from her head. No. Why was she thinking about him?

Kurama...

Don't. Stop. Just go away.

But try as she might, Botan couldn't shake off the nagging feeling at the back of her head that told her that Kurama meant more than just a friend to her. Although, he was. He was her best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. She couldn't possibly have any feelings for him! Not when she was on a date with someone else...

...Right?

* * *

 **A/N: Ok, I realized I haven't been updating this story and my other one (which is, Fourteen Days, by the way), and I am so very sorry for that! It's just very difficult to do, when you have a writer's block... anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! Review when you have the time! I'd really appreciate it! Next chapter coming out... (soon, I hope).**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho**

 **Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru.**

 **Not Him**

 **Chapter 5**

Hiei turned to peer his crimson orbs over Kurama just as Shishi reached out to grasp Botan's hand. There was a touch of jealousy and loathing in his eyes, disrupting the calm that was almost always in those pools of emeralds. The glare seemed to intensify as Shishi's mouth neared in proximity with Botan's, and a moment later, Hiei fought back a smirk as a relieved expression crossed the redhead's countenace when the ferry girl shoved him away. Shishi should be glad Botan pushed him away, or else he'd find himself with no head on his shoulders sooner than he wished.

"You've got it **real** bad for her, fox," Hiei scoffed, his words directed at the kitsune, even as his gaze fixated on the couple seated on the bench. A few moments of talking followed, before Botan got up and told something to Shishi, who soon copied her movements.

Kurama didn't say anything, but Hiei could almost see him smile.

"I suppose," he muttered after some time passed between them, the duo moving to follow the blue haired demon and ferry girl, "I have."

"Hn." Hiei crossed his arms, eventually shifting his glare towards the redhead. "And now we're stalking her, and her lover. That's what you get for always trying to 'analyze' shit, before making a move," he snorted, rolling his eyes at his best friend who merely laughed at his words in response.

"They're not actually lovers," Kurama corrected, with a hint of amusement, and was inwardly glad at the fact, "She's just going out with him for a day. To see how it works out in the end."

"Well, he's accomplished more than you could ever have," Hiei went on, and could almost feel Kurama's glare on his form, "And what if it ends up with her liking him? What then?"

"...Then I don't have a choice but to give up on her." It felt harder than Kurama expected for him to let that out. "I... I can't force her to like me if she doesn't."

"Or," Hiei started, giving a light shrug of his shoulder, "You can just feed him to your death plants."

Kurama's mouth suddenly pulled down to form an angry thin line. "I would, if I could. But, believe it or not, I actually consider Shishi as a friend. I can't do that to him-"

"But you were close to doing that when he tried to smooch her-"

Hiei was ignored, "-and, besides, Botan would hate me for it. You know how she is."

The fire demon snorted at the last sentence. Of course, he knew. "She doesn't understand how us demons work," he grumbled grudgingly under his breath.

"It's not her fault. She's a pure, untainted being," Kurama heard Hiei make a scoffing sound as he said this, but proceeded to ignore the shorter male, "Things like that terrify and disgust her."

"A lot of things terrify and disgust her. Like a small insect called a cockroach. The stupid girl ran about five meters from it, screaming as if it was the end of the world. I swear, if she..." Hiei's voice trailed off, as he sensed Kurama's demon energy spike a little, a heavy sigh erupting from his throat as he realized the kitsune was, once again, furious at him for insulting "the girl of his dreams".

"Hiei..." Kurama's voice spoke in warning, and the fire demon instantly raised his arms in defeat.

"Fine, fox!" He relented, a growl escaping him at the thought of giving in, but having no choice in the matter, "I take it back. She's not stupid. She's a pure, untainted being, or whatever crap you spouted out moments ago."

The redhead seemed to have calmed down a bit. "I apologize, Hiei. I get really easily angered when it comes to Botan."

Crimson orbs rolled sarcastically. "Oh, sure, right." As if he hadn't noticed that. It was obvious. As clear as day. To think that the ferry girl had this much effect on the kitsune...

He expelled a sigh.

"Just be careful, fox. Women can be a fighter's main weakness, and bad things can happen to Botan," Hiei spoke all of a sudden, his voice unnaturally soft and sounded genuinely concerned. They had a lot of enemies after all, any one of them could go after her. Being the powerless and weak ferry girl that she was, she would do nothing but result to herself getting captured.

Kurama spared Hiei a fleeting glance, a considerate expression crossing his face. Perhaps, under all that hatred and disgust he displayed for Botan, the fire demon actually considered her as a friend. At the very least, anyway. His gaze shited to the blue haired girl, a serious look replacing the one before. Hiei was right, but he would **never** let anything happen to her. Ever.

"I know," The kitsune nodded his head, "I'll protect her at all costs."

Hiei turned to study his companion for a few moments, taking in the touch of protectiveness in his emerald orbs, and taking some time to fully comprehend what he just heard. Huh. Judging by how he was acting, the fire demon could tell Kurama would throw his life away in a heartbeat if ever he thought the ferry girl was in danger.

A smirk tugged at his lips, and he repeated his words from before, "You've got it **real** bad."

* * *

"Hey."

Botan nearly jumped as the Shiishi's voice reached her ears, the sound successfully snapping her back out of her reverie. Great, she was doing it again! Thinking of Kurama... that fox really needed to get out of her head, lest she'd go insane. She turned to look at the blue haired demon, the frown marring his forehead telling her that she had been daydreaming for a while, and she quickly devised a way out of this.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something," she said nervously, scratching the back of her not so scratchy head as she broke into a fit of nervous laughter. She figured he would leave it at that, as most people but Kurama - okay, brain, stop conjuring up Kurama in her mind every once a while - would, but contrary to her beliefs, it didn't go as planned.

"Oh." The worry look in his eyes cleared a little, but it was quickly replaced by a curiousity Botan wished she didn't have to satisfy. "And what might that be?" Okay, maybe she had to.

A flush of red crept up Botan's cheeks, colouring her face scarlet and heating up her skin. She parted her lips to answer, but found that she had no words to explain, so she closed it again. "I..." She paused, taking a deep breath. Shishi's stare seemed to intensify the longer she remained silent. "I..."

"You what, Botan?" he prodded, once again, casting her a concerned glance. What was up with the girl? Was he boring her to the point she was beginning to think of unnecessary things?... Well, then again, he actually did not know whether it was something necessary or not, Shishi realized.

"... Nothing..." the ferry girl finally muttered under her breath after long moments of awkward silence, her voice soft, almost inaudible, but thank god, he was a demon and he had heightened hearing skills.

"Really?" He wasn't convinced. "You seemed pretty into it."

The blush on her face darkened, for some reason. "Yes... uh, I mean, no..." A long pause lingered in the air for some time, before she finally heaved a soft sigh in defeat. "I... I guess I was thinking about... someone..."

"Who?" Shishi didn't mean to sound as desperate as he came out, but he did. A sudden sense of panic assaulted his senses, and he swiftly stood in front of Botan, abruptly blocking her way. The blue haired guide of souls blinked her amethyst orbs a few times, staring at his chest for what frlt like forever, before finally averting her gaze to his face. Startled, she almost staggered back, and felled on her butt, at the serious expression on his usually stoic features.

"S-Shishi..." Botan placed a hand on her chest, trying to calm down her rapidly beating heart as the shock slowly but gradually died down. What? Did she do something wrong? She couldn't help but ponder in concern. She wished she didn't, but figured it would be better to ask him herself than jumping into conclusions, and therefore, she gently inquired, "I-Is there something wrong?"

"You didn't answer my question," he said, instead of giving her response. His words caused her mouth to form a pout that would've been utterly adorable, if it wasn't for the nagging curiousity at the back of his head.

"You didn't, either..." she countered back, blinking confusedly as a soft sigh erupted from his lips.

"Botan..." he started, running his fingers through his long dark blue tresses, and subconsciously diverting his gaze from her face, "Tell me... who is it that you were thinking about?" he asked slowly, trying to choose his words carefully, as he finally fixed his eyes on her, studying her and searching her face for some kind of reply.

Slowly, she opened her mouth,

"It's..."

A loud thud sounded, cutting her words short and the ferry girl swiftly turned to look at the source of the sudden noise.

* * *

"How long are we supposed to wear this fucking stupid get up anyway?" Hiei pondered aloud to himself, his voice begrudging as he stared at himself. The clothes were too goddamn stuffy! Disguising yourself have never been such a drag...

"Hiei!" Kurama's voice cut off the savage curses that erupted from his lips, and crimson orbs shifted to shoot a death glare at the redhead.

"What?" he hissed.

The kitsune let out a small sigh. "You're making people give us weird looks," he whispered, gesturing towards the passer bys who were staring at them with odd expressions on their faces, almost as if the two demon just grew three heads, "Besides," His thoughts trailed back to Botan, "She might hear us." He placed his index finger on his lips as a silent order for the fire demon to keep his voice at a low notch as not to get their cover exposed.

Hiei blinked for a moment, before the revelation hit him like a ton of bricks. "Right..." he mumbled under his breath, despite his growing annoyance.

"Kyaaaa! Minamino-kuunnn!" A hysterical, cringy, and nightmare voice suddenly shreaked in glee. Hiei covered his ears as the blood curling scream assaulted his eardrums, momentarilly noting to himself to murder the source of the annoying sound, whilst Kurama's face seemed to drain in colour. The redhead was understandably reluctant to turn around, knowing it was one of the girls from his infuriating fan club again. The evil he had been trying to combat practically every day was now here, at the worst timing ever. Good lord! Could anything stop these crazed fangirls of his from bothering him for at least one day? He wasn't sure if he should be terrified, amazed or confused (although, it felt like a mixture of both) that they managed to identify him despite his disguise. Maybe he should've been more on guard...

Kurama tried to devise a clever plan, despite the fact his demise was apparently closing in on him, that banshee-like screeching gradually nearing to the spot he was standing. He could feel Hiei shooting him weird glances, and unsure of what else to do, he abruptly grabbed Hiei by the collar, dragging the confused, flabbergasted fire demon along with him as he sprinted for his life.

"Hey, Kurama-"

Hiei's voice was immediately cut short, as out of the blue, something big that felt suspiciously like someone's body tackled Kurama to the ground, pulling Hiei down with him as he tumbled face first on the dirt. The fire demon mumbled something about killing the entire human race when he was done with all this crap, before realizing that the fall had revealed their diguises, and whipping his head around to glare at whoever it was that seemed to bear a death wish.

"Hiya, Minamino-kun!" A woman, curled blond hair and blue eyes, gushed in excitement. Apparently, she was suffering from short term memory lost, Hiei thought sarcastically to himself, as he realized she'd forgotten she was still sitting on her so-called idol, the redhead refusing to raise his head to deal with the problem. Hiei could understand. If he had to suffer the displeasure of having someone crazy enough to chase after him and tackle him to the ground straddling him on his back, Hiei wouldn't want to deal with such a nightmare either. He wasn't sure who this annoying human girl was, but he assumed it was one of Kurama's insane stalkers again.

Hiei sighed; perhaps, he should do his friend a favor. He got up to his feet, and dusted off the dirt from his pants, as he glowered at the human female, who finally seemed to notice and acknowledge his existence. She blinked, and without waiting for her to fully question his identiy, Hiei took her by the shoulders, roughly shoving her off of Kurama, and ignoring her cry as she felled hard on her butt.

"What the hell was that about, you shrimp?!"

"Woman! You want to die that quickly?!" Hiei growled, low and dangerous, as he narrowed his crimson orbs menacingly her way. The blonde, having the anger on her face quickly replaced with a look of horror, quickly stood up on her feet and scurried off like a mouse.

"Ah... thank you, Hiei..." Kurama's voice spoke from behind him, sounding amused and grateful at the same time. The fire demon turned to fix his gaze on the redhead to see him already standing and dusting off some dirt from his clothes. He stared only for a moment, before slowly averting his gaze at behind the kitsune's shoulders, crimson orbs widening into saucers, looking as if they would burst out of their sockets.

"That girl is a really persistent one... I owe you one for driving her away." A soft chuckle began to build in Kurama's chest, before erupting from his throat. His fit of chuckles died down a second later though, as he peered at Hiei, only to see his short friend was staring at something else instead. Odd. Almost as if there was something behind... him...

Realization occured to him, striking him like lightning as the revelation finally hit him. Oh, no. Please don't let it be...

"Kurama... Hiei...?"

Oh, god, no. That voice.

He slowly turned,

and met eye to eye with a pair of amethyst eyes.

 **A/N: I'm having a long vacation right now, and have been updating non-stop, trying to finish what I can... hopefully, I'll complete this story soon... hmmm... although, this chapter came out more disappointing than I thought... but oh well... I may re-edit it in the future, but who knows? Hopefully, I will.**

 **Thank you for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho**

 **Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru.**

 **Not Him**

 **Chapter 6**

The redhead stared back at Botan's surprised and bewildered face, Shishi's heated glare intensifying the longer the tense and awkward silence remained. In his mind, Kurama tried to think of ways to solve this situation, but all that came to him were images of an angry and disappointed Botan, distancing herself from him after he let her down. Would she think less of him? Did he make a mistake? He had to fix this somehow, he knew, but maybe it couldn't be fixed at all.

"What the hell are you two doing here?!" Shishi's low and menacing growl reached his ears, cutting through the silence, interrupting his chain of thoughts and snapping him back to reality. He turned to look at the blue haired demon, his expression stoic.

"What's with the hats and the masks? Were you following us?!" The blue haired demon's voice seemed to rise up a notch with every word that passed his lips, the once menacing glare that initially stuck on his countenance contorting into a look of pure wrath.

Botan, on the other hand, remained quiet, trying to comprehend what was going on. It wasn't as if she didn't understand what was happening, and how Kurama and Hiei could be here, but the question why still lingered in her questioning and confused mind. She studied Kurama, searching his face for some kind of answer, but the fox merely avoided her gaze, as if ashamed of himself.

"Shut up," Hiei spoke on Kurama's behalf. He rolled his eyes. "You are making a fool of yourself," he snorted, referring to the crowd of other people rudely observing the scene unfolding in front of their eyes.

"Shishi, I understand that you're furious," Kurama finally said, his voice oddly calm, despite the whirlwind of emotions taking residence in his heart, "But, can we please take this discussion to somewhere more private? Or, at least, talk in a lower volume."

Smoldering, angry pink eyes fixed a glare on his form. "I'm not going anywhere with you until you answer my question. Now, what the hell are you doing here?" he asked again, trying to speak with the utmost composure he could muster.

A long pause hung in the air for a few moments, before the redhead finally spoke, "Yes, I admit, we were following you," he confessed without any hesitation, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips aa Shishi went to deliver a punch to his face, only to halt in his movements when Botan gently grasped at his arm.

"Why?" The ferry girl's soft voice inquired. His eyes softened as he watched her stare at her feet. "I-I don't get it... Were you worried that Shishi would hurt me, is that why you were watching us? If that's so, he's been real nice to me and I had a lot of fun-"

"That's not it," Kurama cut her short, a pang of jealousy stabbing at his heart at her words. He didn't need to hear about her and Shishi. Didn't want to. But, he tried to conceal it.

She looked up at him, and for a moment, caught a brief touch of guilt and... loathing (?) in his pools of emeralds before it quickly disappeared, replaced by an unreadable, stoic mask she could never interpret. A facade to hide his emotions she could never understand, no matter how hard she tried. They were both liars, trying to keep their feelings to themselves under the false pretense that they were okay, except he was better at it than she was. Whereas he could read her like an open book, she never could, not even once. Admittedly, she was always jealous of his ability to understand her in ways she could never understand him, but now, all she wanted was that. To understand. He just wouldn't let her.

"Then, what is it?" she questioned, firmer this time. She gazed intently at him, but he wouldn't look at her. Why?

A deep sigh erupted from his lips. "I... I'm sorry," he muttered, his voice filled with self-disgust and remorse, but that wasn't what she wanted to hear. It didn't matter if he stalked her on the first date she'd been on since decades ago, she just needed to know _why_.

"Sorry for what? For following us when it's none of your business? Why don't you start by explaining yourself..." Shishi trailed off, blinking in confusion when Botan placed a hand on his, cutting short whatever it was he wanted to say.

"Shishi... I... I apologize for saying this. I mean, I get that you're angry. But... can I just... talk to Kurama for a sec?" Botan requested slowly, trying to choose her words carefully.

That didn't settle well with him.

The blue haired demon parted his mouth, making to say something, only to be cut short yet again by the ferry girl, "Alone." Her voice was gentle yet firm, leaving him no room for disagreement. He gaped at her, confused, but eventually relented at the stern expression on her lovely features, and the pleading look in her eyes.

"Fine," he reluctantly complied, inwardly grimacing to himself as he felt Botan pull her hand away. Sparing one brief, warning glance at Kurama from his shoulder, he turned and strolled off to the nearest bench.

Hiei watched him go for a second, before turning to shift his gaze on his redheaded companion. Kurama gave him a small nod, as if telling him to leave them alone. The fire demon shrugged his right shoulder lightly in response, but he abide to the simple order, sliding his fists into the warm comforts of his pockets and fading into a blur of black as he left.

"Can we sit on the swings?" Botan said, all of a sudden, tilting her head at the swings located two meters from them. "It's weird standing in the middle of the crowd like this," she playfully continued in an attempt to ease the tension a little, breaking into a wide grin as a smile lifted up his lips.

He nodded his head, but didn't say anything, following behind her as they sauntered for the swings, and proceeded to perch themselves there. Almost as instantly, Botan kicked the dirt underneath her feet, the sound of the swing swinging gaining his attention. He fixed his gaze on her, only to find himself transfixed by her stare as she fluttered back and forth.

He quickly looked away, a rare pink flush creeping surprisingly up his cheeks. He cleared his throat to try and hide his nervousness. "I'm terribly sorry that I disturbed your date," he finally said, after a moment of regaining his composure. Although, that was a lie. He wasn't actually sorry.

She didn't seem to buy his bluff. "You mean, you're sorry you got caught," she "corrected" him, yet there was no resentment in her tone of voice. Which managed to pique his curiousity and confusion, and he pinned a bewildered gaze on her lithe form. She looked like an exact image of a beautiful angel, he couldn't help but remark in his mind, as he gaped at her smiling face.

"Aren't you supposed to be yelling at me?" he asked after some time, surprised to find that she wasn't even the least bit disgusted or angry to find him "stalking" her.

Botan let out a laugh. "Would you like me to?" she jested.

No, of course not, his mind cried out to say, but his mouth refused to open. Instead, he could only shake his head mutely in response.

"I'm not really angry or anything," she told him, "I mean, sure, you kinda caught me off guard, but... well, I figured you must have a reason for... doing what you did."

His shock dying down a little, Kurama allowed a low chuckle to tumble out of his lips. "You mean, stalking you?" he joked.

"Following," she immediately said, "Stalking sounds... kinda freaky-ish." And she didn't want to think of him that way. "And you never told me why."

For the first time since it was just the two of them, Botan's smile faltered. Her countenance took on a serious expression as she waited for him to acknowledge her with an answer. But the response she earned was the least she expected.

"Do you recall..." Kurama paused, inhaling a deep breath, "...that night, when we were in the Rokurokubi mansion, and I was having awful nightmares?"

The stern look on her face wavered slightly at his words and she couldn't help but ponder where he was going with this. Regardless, she remembered the night he spoke of clearly as if it was just yesterday, and she made no effort to hide it, "Yes." Her answer was immediate.

"I was checking up on everyone, and when I came into your room, you were thrashing in your sleep," Botan went on, her swing coming to a halt as she replayed the events in her mind. "You were shivering. Sweating a lot. And I remembered thinking there was something wrong with you, and that I needed to wake you up."

Kurama couldn't help but smile at her words. "Yes... And after you did, you asked me if I was okay, and I told you I was fine. You were pretty persistent," He paused to let a laugh, "and you wouldn't let me rest until I told you what was bothering me." He gave her a roguish grin as she developed a pink tinge on her cheeks at the reminder, but it felled as quickly as it came. "And when I told you everything, you held me tightly in your arms and comforted me through the entire night." In the back of his mind, he could almost see her embracing him, as she ran a hand comfortingly through his red mane, and whispered soothing words into his ear. " _It's okay, I'm here,_ " she had said, and when the dawn finally neared, when he was eventually freed from the horrifying images of his past sins that constantly plagued his entire being, that was when she finally let go.

"Kurama..." Botan murmured, only to find herself at a loss for words as the redhead turned to look at her, his pair of emeralds smoldering, serious, and for some reason, filled with desire and pure longing, as he seemed to stare right through her soul.

"That was the night," he whispered, "I realized I love you."

Her eyes widened, and before she could utter out a word, Kurama bent forward and crushed his lips against hers.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho**

 **Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru.**

 **Not Him**

 **Chapter 7**

Botan didn't know what to think, nor did she have any idea what she was doing. One moment, she was frozen as a statue, and the next, she was moving her lips rhythmically against Kurama's. His mouth was warm, and smelled and tasted heavily of something similar to mint. It felt nice. No, nice didn't even begin to describe it. It felt good. Real good. And right.

It wasn't until Shishi's loud cry of her name, did she realize what was happening. She gasped into the kiss, and in one swift motion, shoved Kurama gently by his chest, forcing him to pull apart. She stared wide-eyed at his perfectly composed emeralds, one of her hands reaching slowly to trace her index finger of her lower lip. She could still feel it. The lingering taste of his mouth on hers.

As if she'd just broken out of a trance, Botan blinked away the dazed look in her eyes, her amethyst orbs slowly but gradually reverting back to normal. She rotated her head to the right, and was greeted by the sight of Shishi towering over her, which caught her off guard. She almost felled off the swing, but fortunately, Kurama caught her in time before she could experience the fall, grabbing her by the waist and keeping her still.

"Thank you," she muttered, but her head was beginning to feel light.

"Get your hands off of what's mine, fox," she distinctively heard Shishi growl out those words, although she said nothing in response. A hand shot out to grasp her by her arm, tugging her firmly up the swing, not firm enough to hurt her but enough to snatch her out of the kitsune's hold.

She shifted her eyes to the owner. "Shishi..." she mumbled under her breath, but she wasn't sure what to say. She knew she had hurt him, and although she felt remorseful, she couldn't deny she had enjoyed the kiss she shared with Kurama. It had felt... wonderful... and made her sort of happy...

Shishi didn't respond, and without a word to the redhead still seated rather calmly on the swing, turned and walked away from there, dragging a surprised Botan along with him. The ferry girl's pleas for him to stop and slow down a little felled on deaf ears, as instead of abiding to her request, he merely increased his pace.

Botan, knowing she had no choice in the matter, and partly, not wanting to break free because of the revelation that she must had broken his heart, relented, letting him pull her, his hold on her arm almost painfully tight, but she made no move to complain. She turned her head, and for a brief moment, she could see a sad smile on Kurama's face.

* * *

A loud, exasperated sigh sounded in the air, cutting the silence that had befell the fox after the disappearance of a certain blue haired ferry girl. Emerald orbs stared at the route she had been dragged by Shishi on, and for a second, he wished for her to come back. He desperately missed her. Her warmth. Her purity. When he kissed her, he had felt **alive**. It was anything but everything he had felt before. He wanted her then. And he still wanted her now.

Yet, he didn't go after her.

Kurama slammed the right side of his head against the chain that suspended his swing, heaving out a deep sigh as he looked away, averting his gaze to the night sky and the bright, yellow lights decorating it. Why? Why didn't he chase after her? Was it because he knew he could never claim her as his? Was it because in the deepest part of his mind, he actually felt sorry for Shishi, and thought that the tengu was in some way, perfect for her than he was? No, it was neither of those things. If he really loved her, none of those reasons would've stopped him from pursuing her. It was for one simple reason,

He was a coward.

And he hated himself for it.

* * *

"Shishi, wait..." Botan tried to say, only to let out a small wince when he tugged hard enough at her arm to make it feel as if he would rip it out of its socket. It wasn't on intentional, though, she knew.

Shishi seemed to realize he was hurting her, and in an instant, immediately released his vice like grip on her. The dark, menacing look in his pink eyes cleared a little, as he slowly but gradually regained his composure. He watched her as she reached up and rubbed her arm a bit, as if to ease the spasm of pain. His eyes softened, as guilt slowly crept up his skin.

"Forgive me," he eventually said, his voice genuinely concerned, and filled with deep remorse. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine," she responded in a soft voice, cutting short his sentence, "I'm alright." The corners of her lips curled upwards into a small, reassuring smile. He wasn't convinced, but he ended up letting it go, anyway.

Awkward silence hung in the air a moment after, both trying to figure out what to say. Botan bit on her lip, her pearl white teeth grinding on the plump skin, whilst Shishi had his eyes averted elsewhere but her face, in an attempt to avoid meeting her gaze. They stayed that way for a while, until the blue haired demon finally broke it off,

"What's up with you and Kurama?" he asked bluntly, surprising Botan who hadn't expected him to be so straightforward with it, despite anticipating the question to come up sooner or later.

Now that it had though, the ferry girl wasn't entirely sure how to answer. What **was** up with her and Kurama? She now knew he harbored feelings of love for her, as he made her aware of that some time earlier. But, what of her? How did **she** feel? A part of her, the probably insane part of her mind, Botan assumed, told her she loved him, too. Although, was any of it true?

Shishi loved her, genuinely cared for her. He wanted her in ways she hadn't been wanted for decades. After all, she was a ferry girl, a guide for dead souls, and who would desire someone like her? But, Shishi did. He gave her what she had always dreamed of, but never thought she would have. But, that was before she knew Kurama's affections towards her. From what she could tell, the incident at the Rokurokubi mansion had happened many years ago, from before a time Yusuke returned from Makai. Approximately five years. Five years. For five years, he held back. For five years, he kept his feelings hidden. For five years, he loved her in silence. Yes, he never told her, but she should've realized a long time ago. How did **he** feel looking at her in those five years? Did she ever hurt him? She wouldn't be surprised if she did.

It was as if Shishi could read through her mind, as he suddenly took her by the shoulders, pulled her towards him until her body was flushed against his, and said, "You don't know, do you? Then I'll help you figure it out." His voice was oddly low, and would've been inaudible if he hadn't whispered the words into her ear. She parted her mouth to ask him what he meant, only to be silenced by a pair of warm lips that met hers in a heated, what should have been a breathtaking kiss.

Botan's body froze, turning into a rigid line. Although, it wasn't in a good way as she had hoped. She felt a hot, wet tongue probe at her lower lip, asking for permission to enter, which she failed to grant. The ferry girl didn't respond to the kiss, feeling the wet appendage pull away and shutting her eyes tight as Shishi continued to devour her lips, moving his mouth back and forth against her still ones.

When he finally broke it off, Shishi expected to see a flushed, bruised-lip Botan gazing up at him with shy pride. But, instead, he found her staring up at him with a blank, somewhat loss look in her eyes. That was all it took for him to understand. She didn't want him. Obviously not in the way she wanted Kurama, at the very least. Which was more than he could ever earn.

Botan, eventually breaking out of whatever trance that held her captive seconds after he pulled apart, blinked at him in confusion as he finally let go of her shoulders. "Shishi?" she called his name in question, but he turned around, his back facing her.

"You love him," he murmured, his words coming out as more of a statement than a question, voice low and almost inaudible but he knew she heard him completely.

Botan's eyes softened. "Shishi... I..." She hesitated, unsure if she really did.

He seemed to notice her hesitation and her uncertainty, as he swiftly whipped around to face her. When she finally looked up at him, she was startled to see him gazing at her intently, a serious expression crossing his handsome features, and a half hurt, half stern look touching his eyes.

"He kissed you," he said, his voice firm.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean-"

"And you kissed him back," the sentence came almost immediate, cutting short her denial. "You kissed him back," he repeated, his voice lower this time. Although, he expected it to hurt, he didn't know letting out those words would stung that bad. But, it was true. There was no denying that.

"I..." Botan tried to come up with a rebuttal, only to fall silent as she realized she had no words to utter out. What did **that** mean? Sure, she **did** respond to the lip lock between her and the redheaded kitsune, but... did that mean anything? He made her feel wanted, longed for, desired. He cared for her in ways no one had ever had, perhaps more than Shishi could, as he didn't try to let go. He never left her, never hadn't been there for her. She always came first, her own needs put first before his. Yes, Kurama made her feel **loved. Special.** Something she hadn't had in ages-

-Maybe, she did love him.

The revelation came, all of a sudden, as memories of her and Kurama began to flood her mind. _A flash of red hair. His vibrant, emerald eyes. His warm hearted smile._ Why hadn't she realized it before?

She **loved** him.

And, Shishi could see that.

"Shishi..." She hadn't noticed the tears that was falling down her cheeks uncontrollably, until her voice broke, "I-I'm sorry, I..." she tried to say, remorse and self-loathing filling her whole being. How could she do this to the blue haired demon? She played him, she lead him on. He didn't deserve this. He deserved better. "I-I'm truly sorry!" she cried out between sobs, knowing that she could never make up to him for how much she had hurt him, "I-I...!"

 _She broke his heart-_

Botan's wailings abruptly stopped, when Shishi, unexpectedly, cupped her cheeks with both hands, and promptly placed a soft, brief kiss at the top of her head. She froze, a hiccup involuntarily leaving her lips, as she peered up at him with a confused, quizzical stare. He smiled, and said,

"It's okay, I understand." He tucked a hair behind her ear, giving her a reassuring smile. "I'll be alright."

 _-and yet, he forgave her and wished for her happiness all the same._

She hadn't cried so hard for a long time, and for the first time ever, it wasn't because of sadness.

* * *

Kurama swayed in his swing back and forth, the fluttering motion understandably lacking any enthusiasm. He sighed heavily; how long was he going to sulk like this? She wasn't coming back. Not now. Not ever. He should accept it the way it is, and what it is. He should stop acting like a wimp, get his lazy butt off the swing and head back home. He should learn to forget her and move on with his life. He should.

But, he couldn't.

"Hey."

He looked up from the ground, the voice that disrupted his silence too familiar, too recognizable. It was **her.** But, it couldn't be. Could it? She was with Shishi-

On instinct, he lifted up his head, and met eye to eye with a pair of amethysts.

If this was a dream, he mused for a moment, then it was certainly a wonderful one, if not, a tad bit odd. He wished for her presence and POOF! -here she was. Although, that wasn't something possible. The world wasn't a wish granting factory.

"Hey," she repeated, a soft giggle tumbling out her lips, as she reached a hand out to touch him, "Earth to Kurama?"

When she finally cupped his cheek in her small hand, that was when he was sure: this wasn't a dream. Her hand was warm, her touch tender, and a dream could never be the same. His instantly shot up to hold hers in a gentle hold, fingers squeezing lightly before intertwining with hers.

"Botan..."

A smile lifted up her lips. It was the prettiest smile he had ever seen. Then, came her words,

"Hi there."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho**

 **Summary: He has loved her for years, but what would happen when he finds out she's dating someone else? KuramaxBotanxShishiwakamaru.**

 **Not Him**

 **Chapter 8**

Hiei landed on a tree at the park, his crimson eyes scanning here and there for his redheaded companion and a blue haired ferry girl, his mouth forming a scowl as he caught no sight of them. For a moment, he wondered if Kurama had gone home, heart broken after Botan most likely rejected and refused to reciprocate his affections. But then, the scenario was immediately brushed off like a speck of dust in the air, as a voice, familiar and high pitched in a way he found particularly annoying, reached his ears. He instantly recognized who it was, as **she** was the only creature who had the odd ability to pull that irritating sound. He immediately looked up to peer at the direction it came from, blinking in slight antonishment as he watched Botan pull his best friend along towards the ride they had been lining up for before, something Hiei couldn't quite remember the name was, but he distinctively recalled hearing Botan say the word "wheel". As if that wasn't obvious enough.

Hmm, perhaps, it didn't quite go as he expected it, Hiei mused as a light smirk tugged at his lips. And here he was, worrying for nothing. Not that he would admit it, though. A thought occured in his mind, and image of Kurama teasing him and pulling weird, cringe inducing faces at him with words like "Aww, was Hiei really worried about me?" in a tone people only used on infants all of a sudden invaded his chain of thoughts, sending a shiver down his spine as the smirk on his face faltered, reduced to another thin angry line.

Realizing he had to leave before either Kurama and Botan (who would be more annoying than the former if she was ever to find out), Hiei turned and stalked off, disappearing in another black blur.

* * *

"I have always dreamt of riding this," Botan spoke in a cheery voice as they entered one of the passenger cars. Surprisingly, the line was shorter at this time of day, but neither of them minded.

Kurama's eyes fixed on her back, studying her in what seemed like bewilderment, before he felt her lightly tug at his hand. He let her lead the way, whilst thinking to himself how she could be here. Botan, despite being one who never left him in the dark, still hadn't explained what could have happened between her and Shishi that lead her to choose him over the blue haired demon. It wasn't as if he wasn't thanking the heavens in gratitude for giving him a lightning chance to be with the woman he loved and deeply cared for. No, he was curious, and slightly confused.

For some reason, she also decided to sit beside him, instead of facing him. He didn't really care either way, he rather liked having her shoulders brush against his once a while.

Kurama's eyes danced in mirth and amusement, a small, warm heated smile lifting up his lips as he watched her gush excitedly at the prospect of fulfilling her dream of finally riding the Ferris Wheel. A laugh eventually erupted from his throat, as the ferry girl continued to giggle girlishly when the ride started to move.

"Isn't this exciting?" Botan asked in an eager voice, her lovely features wearing a look of enthusiasm that he could compare with a small child's at their first time in a candy store.

Another smile subconsciously found its way to his lips. She always managed to amuse him, and never in a bad way. He found her purity, innocence and overall, bubbly demeanor not only refreshing but also terribly adorable.

"Have you rode on this before?" she proceeded to badger him with more questions, Kurama parting his lips to answer, only to silence himself as something caught her eye. She seemed to forget she had asked him something, as she quickly turned in her seat to face the window, a sound of utter awe escaping her lips as she watched the dark sky turning bright, and slowly but gradually being decorated with all sorts of colours. BOOM! -and there goes the fireworks.

The kitsune's shifted his gaze to the sky, gaping in amazement as one firework after the other roared in the night sky, exploding in an extraordinary combination of colourful lights.

"My, fireworks at a time like this?" he remarked, as the astonishment eventually died down, replaced by a feeling of appreciation towards the breathtaking sight. A light smile crossed his lips, as he turned to look at his ferry girl. She had her small back facing him, and yet, he found her prettier than the fireworks. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he inquired her, but there was in no way he was referring to the lights brightening up the sky.

She laughed, but didn't whip around to face him fully. Instead, she added, "And it feels kinda romantic, doesn't it?" in a slightly shy, slightly joking voice. She could feel his eyes on her, and was reluctant to turn around, in fear that she would faint, or worse, die in embarrassment. Now that she was aware of her feelings for him, and also, his for her, it was making her more nervous than she had ever been in his presence. She was trying not to let her meek side show, however, and hoped inwardly that her efforts were in vain.

 _They probably are_ , Botan mused in her thoughts when she felt Kurama abruptly took her by the shoulders, leaving her no choice but to move according to his wishes as he forced her to face him.

"I didn't mean the fireworks," he murmured, his emerald orbs filled with mischief, as he stared down at her scarlet face. The bright, crimson tint colouring her cheeks turned into a darker shade at his words, and without offering him a response, she averted her eyes away, unwilling to meet his intense, unwavering gaze.

"Botan," His voice, almost unusually low, sounded like a soft lullaby as it echoed in the air, "Look at me," came his order, the simple words causing her heart to skip beats and leap in her chest.

Regardless, despite her timid self, Botan finally relented, rotating her head slowly to look up at him. As instantly as she did, however, the ferry girl found herself regretting her own "foolish" actions. His gaze, flashing in a way that made her shiver only for a brief second, was heavy and smoldering, his emerald eyes, with flecks of deep, lustrous gold, were dark, filled with pent up desire and pure longing as he stared at her. The look was so intense, seeming to stare straight through her soul, that she had to look away, and she tried to, swiftly turning her head in an attempt to avert her eyes. But he would have none of that.

His fingers instantly found her chin, gently tilting her face to meet his gaze. She parted her mouth to say something, only to clamp it shut as she realized she was at a loss for words.

"Don't," he whispered, "I want to see you." He ogled her lovely, well rounded features, drinking in the sight of the beautiful shade of her jewel-like purple eyes, her small, pointed nose, and her pink, glossy and kissable honey dew lips. She had a striking resemblance to an angel, her beauty, an art at its finest. His dark orbs trailed lower from her pearl white neck, to the valley between her breasts, before flicking up to make eye contact with the ferry girl.

Botan inwardly figured she must be looking like a tomato right now, as a lopsided grin tugged at the edge of his lips. His eyes flashed gold for a moment, but before she could figure out what he was up to, he slammed his mouth on hers, reducing her words to mere muffled sounds as he devoured her lips hungrily. Startled by the sudden lip to lip contact, the girl froze, before getting over the shock, and responding to the kiss, her mouth moving rhythmically with his. They fitted so well together, it almost felt like a dream.

Her hands shot up to grab a tight hold around his collar, tugging him impossibly closer to her, and flushing her soft, petite form against the hard contours of his sculpted body. She parted her lips, allowing her tongue to dart out and flick teasingly at his lower lip, nearly begging for permission to enter. She could feel the muscles underneath his white shirt flex at the contact, and almost instantly, he grasped her arms, forcefully pulling her off of him and pressing her against the glassy surface of the mirror on her back. She blinked, the dark, hazy look in her eyes clearing away slightly as she pinned a bewildered expression on the redhead.

He stared at her, his face unreadable, despite the growing urges within him screaming to be indulged in. It wouldn't be right to force her into anything she didn't want to do, it was already wrong for him to kiss her without knowing what her true affections were.

"Is something the matter?" she asked in soft, almost frightened voice, as if she actually did something wrong. He shook his head in response, a bitter smile touching his lips as he murmured,

"I can't do this. If we keep going, I don't know how long I can hold back." He paused, searching her face for some kind of reaction, "And I don't want to go too far. I don't want to force myself on you. I still haven't the faintest clue of what you might feel..."

She finally understood. "It's okay," she reassured him, her fingers reaching up and weaving themselves into his crimson mane, "I wouldn't mind." Her feelings cried out for the kitsune, but her mouth wouldn't open and utter out those three words, no matter how hard she tried.

He shook his head again, surprising her as he, all of sudden, bent his head lower to her throat, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "You don't understand," he whispered, the desperation and frustration filling his voice catching him off guard, as he muttered, "I am an animal, Botan." Perhaps all demons were. "I don't want to hurt you."

His hot breath fanned over her neck, sending a delightful shiver down her spine. "You would never hurt me," she said in a firm yet gentle tone, her words coming out almost in a whisper. She felt his hold around her tighten a little.

"Botan, y-you probably don't even like me back... and what of Shishi? What about him?" he questioned, pulling apart so he could see her. Surprisingly, she smiled.

"I rejected him," she mumbled under her breath, "Although he always seems kind of childish at times, he handled it quite well. He was matured and... and he understood."

Kurama, although taken aback by the sudden confession, couldn't help but grin bemusedly at himself. That was, regrettably, something he could never do. He was **selfish. Greedy.** And he would always want her for himself, desire her every being, even if she didn't share the same feelings he harbored.

Contrary to his beliefs, Botan actually was in love with him. "Please don't make that face," she whispered, her voice breaking at the last word. He stared at her in a way that made it seemed like he was letting go of her forever. Leave her for good. She didn't want that. Not when she finally knew she loved him. "You're making me feel as if you're going to walk out on me."

"Wouldn't you?" His response came almost immediate. "I would never walk out on you. I love you too much to do that. But, what about you? Would you even hesitate to..."

"Of course not," she cried out indignantly, offended that he would even consider the prospect. Admittedly, he still hadn't even an inkling of clue how she truly felt, but she would never... How could he even...

Tears stung at the back of her eyes, although she tried to stifle them as best as she could. Her efforts were fruitless, however, as the salty liquid cascaded down her cheeks uncontrollably, soft sobs involuntarily leaving her lips as she cried.

Kurama expelled a deep sigh, exasperation at himself creeping up his skin. Great, now what did he do? It was a rarity that she ever shed a tear, and not even once before, she had cried for him. And yet, now she was. And he loathed himself to his core because of it. He resisted the urge to slam his head on the window, and kick himself in the shin, and merely wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in a tight embrace, which successfully halted her sobs.

"I'm sorry," and he held her tighter, "I didn't mean to..."

"Idiot..." he heard her say, the word bringing a smile to his face as he felt her hands glide upwards from his spine to his shoulders, her rosy finger tips gripping on the white fabric of his shirt, "You're such an idiot..."

"I'm sorry..."

Botan placed a lithe hand on his chest, shoving lightly for push him off a little so she could face him. Her tearful eyes stared at the desire and remorse in his pools of emeralds, before slowly, she leaned in, allowing the slightest graze of her upper lip against his lower one. Kurama, inhaling a sharp intake of breath at the feel, eagerly crushed her mouth with his, relishing in her pants and the taste of her sweet, honey dew lips as he passionately kissed her, as passionately as he could. Her legs instinctively hooked around his waist, whilst his found residence on her plump hips, digging his blunt nails into the perfect mounds, as he felt her kiss back with equal fervor.

"Kurama..." His name, was like music to his ears as it tumbled out her mouth. Then, in the kiss, finally came those words,

" **I love you too.** "


End file.
